I didn't know what to get Carol for her birthday this year, and frankly, it's been hard to focus on anything other than Friday lately. So, on impulse, I got her an iPad. I blame my Apple-loving buddies for egging me on. It is a fun little indulgence and I just hope she grows to like it. If not, I guess it'll be my new iPad...
Since I've not had time or opportunity to shop for Gayle, she's going to get one of my cool old film cameras for her birthday. She's been having fun going retro this summer - vinyl records and film cameras.
These gifts that we give are fun tokens to remind us of our love and connections with those we care about. But, and I risk falling into a deep cliche, the only real gift we have to share is our time together. And you find out who loves you most and who really cares when times are hard. For me, times have never been harder than now. On one hand, I know several people who have been through much tougher challenges in their lives than mine, so I feel like I should just suck it up. On the other hand, what's coming frightens me like nothing else in my life. There, I said it. I'm fucking scared. In about 30 hours from now, somebody's going to cut open my head and try to fix what's wrong and sew me back up again. I've put my trust in people who I barely know based on their education and experience, and I can only hope that that's enough. And yes, I am fucking scared.
One of my friends told me that there are lessons to be learned from hard times, and she is right. This ordeal has definitely brought Carol and I closer together than we've been in a long time for that I am only grateful. Another friend said that it's times like this that you find our who your true friends are because they will stand beside you. And I've discovered that I have friends standing beside me all over the world who honestly care and are sending their prayers, Karma, good thoughts and best wishes for a successful surgery and quick recovery. I am humbled every day as messages come in from people I know well and people I haven't heard from in years. I've tried my best to thank each one of you directly, but let me say thank you again to all of you now. Believe me, it helps more than you know. As I said in my first post, I am a lucky man.
So, tomorrow afternoon we head to San Francisco where we are planning to catch the Birth of the Impressionists exhibit at the DeYoung Museum. Then we will have dinner with some great friends who have offered their home for us to stay through the duration. Carol's sister Joyce is coming up from Atascadero for some moral support in the waiting room on Friday. She will drop us off at the hospital at 6 am, then come back to keep Carol company when my procedure starts at 7:30. I should be into recovery by noon. My surgeon said that if all goes well, I should be ready to go home in two or three days, so I hope to be back in Hangtown by Monday.
At least that's the plan as I know it tonight. One of us will post something to the blog on Friday afternoon or evening. Perhaps Carol will do it with her new iPad.